19 posts tagged “life”
Sometimes it takes a few plays before I really connect with bands and their music. I have a tendency to fall in love with albums long after others have started playing them at housewarming parties and they're on request in jukeboxes around the city. When it finally happens I'll listen to a particular album on repeat until I can't bear to hear another single note from it.
There's been many albums where I've done this going back as far as Disintegration, a time where I was going through the years of "How the hell did I end up with this family?", to more recent memories of drinking wine and dancing to Hot Fuss with my girlfriends. Each of these albums takes me back to a place and time, and reminds me of how far I've come and how much further the road is ahead. This month I'm stuck on Crystal Castles:
Sarah wasn't feeling well this afternoon so I drove her St. Mary's hospital over by Golden Gate park. I dropped her off at the entrance and then parked the car in the garage. When I walked through the entrance I expected to find a directory but all I got was some girl on her cell phone giving me the dirty eye. It's rather baffling that hospitals floor plans aren't made more intuitive. People come here in times of pain and stress and are left staring at the five million signs wondering which way is the right way to go. They need medical help not GPS.
I was kind of expecting the emergency room to open up in front of me when I exited the elevator. Kind of like in the movies where there's this huge room with patients shuffling back and forth. Not quite. After turning two corners and ending up in the radiology section, I asked a nurse where the emergency room was.
"Um, it's behind you over there." He said with a tired look.
Oh, I completely missed the white double doors that said "Emergency Room" on them. Heh. I tried the doors but they were locked. An old man walking down the hall kindly yelled out, "Dear, you have to hit the intercom before they let you in..there, hit that button." An intercom? What if I was having a heart attack?
After they buzzed me in I figured this was where I would see the big waiting room. I ran down the hall past curtained rooms, empty gurneys and medical equipment and somehow ending up in another lab section. WTF? Since the emergency room was on the bottom floor, there were really low ceilings and no cell phone reception, so I couldn't even call Sarah.
I turned down two more hallways and then circled back around to the nurse's station out of breath, "Have you seen my friend? She just came in..she's about this tall, um.." The nurse looked at me like I was crazy. ".. Um, do you have a waiting room or something??"
She pointed me to a set of white sliding doors that I just ran past. OMG. I finally find Sarah and we spend the next fifteen minutes sitting in a tiny waiting room flipping through brochures about medical alarms and hospital billing options. There's an 80s cop movie playing on the crappy TV and the guy beside me is picking at the wound in his knee. Lovely stuff.
Finally she got checked out and I went back to the waiting room which was now filled with too many people. After five minutes or so, the guy behind me decided to rest his feet on the seat next to my head. Um, so gross. I sat perched in my seat watching the knee guy fidget back and forth. After ten minutes of this I couldn't take it anymore and bolted for the sliding doors. Except um, they didn't slide this time. Push. Nothing. I turned to see one of the ladies in the room staring at me stupidly. I looked at the doors again and saw the fine print, "Doors do not open on their own." Seriously? Why the hell not? I turned back to the check-in desk, "Um, the door doesn't open on it's own???"
The nurse rolled her eyes, "No they don't." She hit a button and the doors opened up.
ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sarah was treated with medication through an interesting plastic breathing contraption. I almost took a photo but it looked kind of phallic and I was sure she'd kill me for posting it. She's doing better now and despite the craziness of that hospital, we did get a good laugh about all the things we saw but couldn't txt anyone about.
Summer has made it's way to the bay and with it comes the onslaught of weddings and festivities. On my coffee table are the first set of invitations with another two still on their way. One invitation sadly went from having Nick's name to just a singular "1". People sure like to punish the single folks. Ha. I really thought everyone was done getting married years ago but they just keep coming. I'm looking forward to each of these especially the ones out of the city. The first couple will be married at Wente Vineyards in Livermore, the second at a private estate in Palo Alto and the third at one of my favorite restaurants, Yank Sing.
This weekend I'm headed to Vegas for Mel's bachelorette party. I've been to Vegas more times than I can remember so I'm only looking forward to the part where I hang out with girlfriends by the pool. In July it'll be Suzanne's cocktail bridal party at a french bistro in South Park (btw, I love this idea since it's neither a shower nor a bachelorette) and then in August I'll be taking a Napa wine tasting and spa trip for Sarah's shower. It's going to be a busy but fun summer. I'm looking forward to the time spent with friends.
There were letters lined along the top of the mailbox when I came home. Has it been that long since I last checked the mail? Apparently so as I yanked open the bulging door and a pile of magazines fell out. For a moment I felt like one of those old spinsters, the ones still living in the same apartment after thirty years and spends days eagerly awaiting the next subscriptions of Mary Kay and Penneys. How did I get here again?
Oh right. Welcome to the new single life. Where friends pack you with condoms, dare you to get "that" guy's number, and graciously pimp you out to their best friend's roommate's cousin, who's really awesome but not your type. Granted I do appreciate that friends are trying to keep me busy. So busy in fact that much of the last month has been one fuzzy dream. I'm not sure I was ever really in the moment. I'd go out, smile, talk, nod, shake hands and make witty remarks at the appropriate times. Yet through all of it, I just felt kind of numb. Sometimes I'd remember where I was and what I was supposed to be feeling. And then I'd just want to go home and eat Oreo cookies.
It's part of the process everyone says. Those blues came yesterday in the late afternoon, making the task at hand suddenly unbearable. Thank goodness for Sarah's idea of hitting the Ferry Building after work. I needed the company. But the dinner high lasted only until I was on the bridge, at which point I proceeded to call everyone on my speed dial list. My dear friends are good cheerleaders and never fail to offer the kind of advice that keeps on giving.
"Keep these things in mind and you'll be fine. Don't die. Don't get an STD. Don't get fired. That's in no particular order btw." said Tyee before wishing me a good night.
Right. Okay, will do.
My mom's boyfriend has been away on a trip to Vietnam. She hates sleeping alone and I knew she'd want me to come home often. In fact, she called right before he left and asked if I could work from home 2-3 days a week from San Jose. An extra weekend this month sure okay, but several days a week? Mind you some visits I can barely get through brunch without wanting to bolt for the door. So um, no. And my weekends this month were entirely booked so instead I asked her to come stay with me for a few days. Yes, kind of crazy.
Well mom came up today with the kitchen sink in tow. Literally. She doesn't understand how I could possibly feel aggravated when she does things like this. It's as though she doesn't believe I can take care of myself, despite the fact that I've been living on my own since college. She brought her own bedding and pillows, towels, toiletries, a bag of cooking supplies such as fish sauce, soy sauce and a colander, three bags of groceries including canned goods and a 25 pd bag of rice, AND extra cleaning supplies.
In the first hour, she picked apart what I had in the refrigerator and proclaimed my floors were too disgusting to live with. She then proceeded to wipe the floors down as I chased her around the kitchen saying, "It's fine mom. Leave it alone. No really, I'll take care of it later.." To put my mother in perspective, here are some counts from just this evening alone. The number of times that she's asked me to drink milk: 3; number of times she's asked to me to eat something: 5; number of times she's complained about me being single: 4; number of times she's complained about my hair/skin/clothes: 3; number of times she's mentioned that drinking ice is bad for my teeth: 2.
She's staying until Wednesday, you do the math on those numbers. Though it's not all bad because my mom does have her funny moments. And these are the things that get me through the days:
Earlier when we parked her car in the garage, she seemed very put off by how dark and deserted it was.
"Well, it's a garage mom. There's not going to be a lot of people down here."
She frowned, "Is safe though, honey?"
"As safe as can be with a gate. Let's grab the bags and I promise you don't have to come down here at night."
I went around the side of the car and saw that she had taken out the package of Arrowhead water. "Mom, we have too much stuff here, leave the bottles of water until tomorrow."
"You sure? So dark here. What if someone take? It good water."
"The water mom? Someone is not going to steal the freakin' water. They'll want your stereo over the water!"
She laughed nervously and put the water back into the car. But I'm not sure she really believed me.
Early in the fall of last year my body went into serious overdrive. Work was hectic, stress was high, my therapy sessions had reached another plateau, and I was feeling short of breath on most days. My body even began rejecting sleep. I've always been a light sleeper and have never slept more than five or six hours a night. Which for the most part was okay because I was able to at least sleep through the night.
Suddenly I found myself waking up every two hours, staring at the clock for ten sometimes twenty minutes before dozing off again. This process would repeat itself just two hours later and again until it was time to get out of bed. Why was I feeling so anxious? What was I worried about? I tried doing fulfilling and relaxing things to bring my stress levels down, but every night my eyes and mind would burst alive sometimes even straight out of a dream. I don't remember much of what I thought about but there was always something waiting at the forefront of my mind. Sometimes it was work, sometimes relationships or sometimes just my family. The thoughts started out small and then spiraled out of control and twenty minutes turned into an hour of tossing and turning. It took a couple of extra sessions of therapy and prescription meds before I found myself sleeping through the night again.
And now, just half a year later the insomnia has come back. Mid last week I began waking up every two hours again, my mind wandering back and forth through scenarios of the past and present. This morning I stared at my ceiling between 3:13am and 5:02am until I finally fell asleep to a series of horrific dreams that left me sweaty and cold. Then my eyes flew open at 7:00am on the dot. I think the newly single girl in me is having some sort of anxiety attack. I broke out in hives last week and still find myself itching at random points during the day. I thought it must have been something that I ate but Annie said after her big breakup, she broke out in hives for an entire week. I don't imagine boys have allergic reactions to being single. I'm going out and keeping busy but I'm not really feeling happy and I guess neither is my body.
I hate my teeth. Or well, I hate taking care of my teeth. If I took better care of them as a child, eating less candy and remembering to floss, perhaps I would think differently now. I had one of my incisors pulled last winter in preparation for a tooth implant. Long story but basically a root canal wouldn't have saved the tooth from falling out in a couple of years. Yes, gross. Basically It would cost me less in the long run to just replace the tooth now. Teeth implants are an expensive procedure that most insurance companies don't cover since it's considered cosmetic. Not really sure why since people get it done because they have no other choice and not because they need their teeth to look pretty. The grand total would be $2300 and that doesn't include the actual tooth, only the titanium implant and bone grafting. Apparently I'll be able to choose from cadaver bone, cow bone or my own bone (taken from the jawline).
Thankfully our new dental insurance, MetLife, has much better benefits than Guardian. HR listened to all the complaints around the office last year and switched us fast as they could. MetLife will cover 50% of the costs and I have the operation scheduled for July. In the meantime, I need to replace this temporary tooth that they gave me. The lab totally messed up and the shade of the tooth is about five times darker than my natural shade. That will be another $200 out of pocket now. Bleh. I really thought life would be much simpler after getting my braces off. But the saga continues..
I leave for Puerto Vallarta this Thursday. It was a great deal especially considering how expensive other locations such as Playa Del Carmen or Hawaii are right now. I paid $800 for the flight plus five nights at a really nice hotel with an all-inclusive package. All-inclusive food is usually just okay but getting the beverages and alcohol covered is where it's at. Friends say Puerto Vallarta has a ton of great restaurants so we'll likely be eating out a couple of nights. Can't wait! Checked the weather out last night and it was 80 degrees even at night. Hurrah. Kind of wish it was a longer vacation, just an extra day or two since my days are pretty action packed. When I booked three weeks ago I was kind of afraid of sitting on the beach for five days with nothing to do. Eeeek, what if I got bored?? There would be the usual tanning, building sand castles, playing frisbee and reading. And Nick would be there so it's not like I wouldn't have conversation. But what else? What else?!! Food. Beer. And?
So I bought a travel guide (because as hard as I try I cannot travel without doing the homework first). For a few extra dollars, we'll now be spending our days riding zip lines across the jungle, driving VW buggies to San Sebastian, snorkeling and kayaking around Marietes Island, and I left one day for hanging out on the beach and walking around town. :D Hopefully I'll come back with a little bit of color.
My mom turned 70 years old today. Yes, she's pretty ancient - I mean that in the most loving way of course - but she still has a lot of spunk in her. Recently she was slapped with a speeding ticket for not paying attention to the road, something about driving 50mph in a 25mph zone. When I asked what happened, she just shook her head in disbelief.
Mom: The car it run soooo well honey. Last week, I just go. Press on tha gas and it went bon-bon-bon. You know very easy, I did not know it was fast!!
Me: "Bon-bon??" Well, you should really look out for the signs. Be careful mom!
Mom: Oh honey, I can't see sign anyway.
:/
Hmm.. Not good. These are photos from our Vietnam trip. Isn't she cute? And yes, someone shorter than me. Btw we're wearing dust masks, not dressed up like bandits.
Some dude growled at me on the street today. He was growling way before passing me, so thankfully it wasn't my outfit or something. Growling at cars, at constructions workers, at the street lamps, sometimes upwards to the sky. As he approached me he snarled his lips and began fidgeting wildly with his hands. I thought he was going to start foaming at the mouth. Seriously dude, stop with the drugs! Haven't you seen those meth ads all over the city? It takes away your soul.
In other news, I am finally dressed appropriately for the weather. I can never tell how the day will look when I leave in the morning. Berkeley is usually a few degrees cooler or warmer depending on how much fog has rolled into the Bay. This may not be exciting for you but after wearing or not wearing the right garments several days over the last few weeks, I'm stoked. It's little things like this that keep me going...
