33 posts tagged “life”
I have a thing against band names that need to be shortened into acronyms or sound like titles of love poems I once wrote back in the 8th grade. Too many memories of fake kissing pillows quite honestly. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart don't sound much older than that but despite the young vocals their songs are quite lovely. Thanks to Patty and Annie for getting me out to the Rickshaw last night. Forgot how much I love going to shows...
...Except that it's still raining here in San Francisco. Every other week that is. I know I'm long overdue for a life update. But after so much time it's a little difficult to know where to start. As many of you know, I was impaled by a 400 pound ATV back in February. The short summary for the non-6Aers: four cracked ribs, a punctured lung, one broken collarbone (which now has plate and six screws over it), chest tubes, a medic jet evacuation from Mexico, a week's hospital stay and several more weeks of sporting around oxygen tanks. Oh, and I also burst blood vessels behind my eyes which caused blurry spots around my center of vision. Initially the spots were purple and I thought I was hallucinating from all the morphine. My doctor laughed when I told her, apparently you cannot hallucinate from painkillers. Not even if you take a ton of it.
A horrific experience indeed but I feel blessed to have walked away with mind, body and spirit intact. I've never been more thankful to be able to move my hands and feet than I did on that day. The outpouring of love and support from friends and colleagues was truly amazing. You guys rock, <3. And I was lucky to have D at my side, as he went above and beyond to ensure that I had the best possible care. During those eight weeks of recovery life was really simple, and despite my limited mobility and sometimes painful days, quite enjoyable. Well, except for the part where I couldn't shave my armpits. That was kind of rough. There was a lot of good food (I rekindled a love of apple juice in a box), reading, visits from friends, naps and pretty sunsets from D's deck. The urgency and need for "things" went away because well, I couldn't really do much on my own. I spent quite a bit of time thinking about people, relationships and the forces that move us in life. I don't have any answers for you but I did gain perspective for myself.
Now that I'm back at work, I'm feeling a little bit funky. Bound to happen, right? Most of it is probably due to my adjusting to the new schedule and the general insertion of me back into society. Hello, world. But if having a near death experience doesn't put you down, then a bit of the blues definitely will not. :)
Last night I sat down to an assortment of new alarm clocks and two giant, the biggest I’d ever seen, papayas on the dining room table. “They cute huh honey?” mom asked as she scooped rice into a bowl.
“Are they supposed to be…um, cute?” I prodded one of the papayas. It was bright green and didn’t look like it was going to soften anytime this year, much less this month.
“Yea, mom proud they so big. Good deal. Buy big, less money.”
Before I could comment on how absurd that sounded, the alarm clocks began rattling in succession. What the… 7pm. Oh right, every hour on the hour. This was all perfectly normal (at least in our household) until one of the clocks started belting out country tunes. Country tunes in a robotic, doorbell kind of way, the kind of country tunes found in cartoons with Bugs Bunny chasing the Road Runner down some lonely stretch of Texas desert. First the rooster phone now country tune alarm clocks. WTF.
Mom glanced up and laughed, “It cute honey?”
*****
On this visit, my mom had these two tidbits of wisdom for me:
#1 Saving for the Future:
“Thanh My already bought house. She two year younger than you, no speak English too good. But she came here after and she save, save money. Why you not like that? You know she single, three kid wit BIG HOUSE. She work on nail just downtown. She good daughter…”
Wait. She’s single with three kids and you think she’s a good daughter for buying a house??
#2 Dating Up in Life:
“Mom say you don’t need date. But if you want man, go Vietnam honey. Many rich, mill-on-aire. Take rich boy back wit you. They give you fifty thousand to go America. And you no have to live wit them.
[pauses]
I should have done too when I young like you. But now too late. Still, you go. You pretty girl, have chance to make money. Better than be alone, mommy tinks.”
Nice. I'd rather be alone and um, I think that’s illegal.
What is it about friends posting pictures from years ago, not just of themselves but of you too. Thankfully I like the photo despite the fact that I'm wearing silver-ish lipstick. To be 24 again!
There are the friends that you rarely see but every time that you do, it’s as if no time has passed. The friends that remind you of the person that you want to be, that you can be, that you may have always been. That’s my friend, Tyee. We met in college when she had China doll bangs and I cooked a lot of salty foods. She was full of dry humor, French slang and a wicked sense of style. We weren’t particularly close during those days, her humor was not for me, but over the years despite our hectic schedules we've managed to stay in touch and grow our friendship.
Yesterday I picked her up on the corner of Sutter and Divisadero, outside the Intensive Care Cancer Unit. “No, my mom is not okay..” she said slowly. “She has colon cancer. We found out last month and it’s spread to her ovaries. They’ve removed what they could. She just had the surgery this week and in a few months, she’ll go into chemo. The prognosis is not good.”
Tyee was calm and composed. What do you say to a friend in that moment? “I’m sorry.” My words sounded thick and hollow. I wanted to say more but my throat was dry and I was at a loss.
We spent the afternoon drinking hot chocolate and shopping for plum colored lipstick. She broke down a little when we discussed the upcoming wedding and the acceleration of plans. “I want her to be able to enjoy the day..well, I just want her to be there for it.” She looked away as I stared down at the table. We changed the subject to wedding gowns, bouquets and her plan to buy flowers the day of at Costco. My friend, always the frugal one.
I’m amazed at her strength and ability to keep it all together. Over a year ago, her fiancé went through chemo for a brain tumor and now life has just gotten back to normal. And here she is, at the start of the new year watching it happen all over again. My dating life update was frivolous in comparison. But I continued on because the stories made her laugh. And that’s all I could hope for in a time like this.
Stay positive Love. xoxo.
By tomorrow morning, I will have survived almost 72 hours at home. This is a big deal considering my previous visit lasted less than a day. What can I say, my patience for dealing with family has been at an all-time low. Overall though, besides the constant rooster calls (via telephone and clocks) and my parents' inability to speak in anything other than their stadium voices, it was a nice-ish stay. I caught up with childhood friends, shopped with cousins and even bonded with my mother over rice bowls.
Yes. Bowls. Apparently her newfound obsession is with dinnerware, rice bowls in particular. Which is kind of nice considering her past obsessions: there was the year of nylon tracksuits, replaced by Buddhist statues of every shape and size, and then came the chili garden (which is now producing more chili than any of us can eat). Every week she finds new bowls and plates and then ends up selling the old ones or just giving them away. I hope by the time I'm her age, they will have some sort of medication for this.
In other news, I'm off to London and Amsterdam on Sunday. So excited for the shopping and the fact that I'll be ringing in the New Year somewhere else. I'll try to update as often as I can, but in the meantime here are some funny quotes from mom to hold you over:
Mom: You look nice honey. Jacket very nice...
Me: Oh, this? This is old but I love it.
Mom: How much? Tell mommy, it expensive? Must be, look expensive.
Me: Um..I don’t remember..not sure actually.
Mom: Hmm, me think you shop too much. Why you spend so much money when jobs so bad? You waste the money!
****
Mom: You ate dinner already with Chinh? That good. I made soup for you too.
Me: [pause]
Mom: Make sure you eat it. Want to eat it now?
Me: Um..But I’m not hungry.
Mom: What? You diet again?? Why diet all the time? No good look skinny. Boy no like.
****
Mom: You think all the store, they close Christmas? Like no one work?
Me: [pause]
Mom: We go shopping tomorrow, okay?
Me: But all the stores will be closed, Mom.
Mom: So they ALL close tomorrow? Mom no understand why they do that. How they make money?
****
Mom: Eat more, you so skinny. Will die soon.
Me: Um..I don’t think I’m going to die?
Mom: Tsk, tsk, tsk..don’t talk back to mommy. I made soup for you. Want to eat it now?
****
Me: [hands over present]
Mom: I no need new camera. Why camera?
Me: To take pictures with when you go to Vietnam..
Mom: Okay, I take it. Thank you honey. Mommy can sell it for good price at flea market.
****
Mom: You need to drink milk. You want milk, I get for you?
Me: I’m fine without milk for breakfast.
Mom: Why no drink milk? Make you stronger, better bones. You get old, must drink milk.
Me: I take vitamins every day. Calcium vitamins too.
Mom: No, no. Vitamins bad for you. Very bad, just drink milk. Especially from cow.
Me: But um..that doesn’t make any sense..
I can't believe it's already December. The last couple of months have come and gone with only two real blog updates from me. I'm sorry I haven't been posting anything but mobile posts. There hasn't been much time to do anything between work and my social commitments. November included a lot of late nights in the office and even a few weekends. The culmination of all that hard work was the launch of TypePad Connect. It was a *huge* release with lots of moving parts but the team made it happen and I couldn't have been prouder to have been a part of it. Now that the beta release is out, I actually have a bit of breathing room.
Recently I traveled to NYC for my college roommate's bridal shower and bachelorette party. That's Margie with the big present. Yes, we are the same height and size. That's why I originally wanted to live with her - it made borrowing clothes really easy. She's getting married in Costa Rica in January but sadly I won't be able to attend. That really is the last wedding event that I'm attending this year, I swear! I can't afford anything else even if there was something.
It's been a year since I've been back to New York and I've really missed it. The city feels like home to me, even when I'm walking down a street I've never been on, it feels like I've been there before. The sights, scents and sounds of NYC are always comforting. I like that it's a city that never sleeps. I know this means I need to spend some time living there. Maybe one day...
In family updates, I stopped talking to my mom for about two months. Long story short, that I won't get into here, but it involved a nagging voicemail about what I wasn't doing with my life. No, it doesn't stop with my mother even after you've turned thirty. That definitely was the longest I'd ever gone without talking to her. But I came home for Thanksgiving and it seems like everything is fine now. In true mom fashion, she didn't want to talk about it and preferred we act as if nothing was wrong.
The end of Spring brought significant changes with an almost three year relationship out the door. But no regrets. Now that time has passed, we definitely know it was the right decision for the both of us. I do miss the companionship but to be honest, it's been really good to spend more time on just me. This is the happiest that I've been in a long time. And there are only more great things coming especially with my big trip planned to London and Amsterdam for the New Year. Oy, I'm super excited about that!
Oh and I've been shopping a lot. But that's nothing new. :)
The last of the weddings for this year came and went. Sarah and Mike were wed at the Sofitel hotel in Redwood City yesterday evening. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful, just like the bride herself. Both of her two little dogs were in the ceremony and they were quite well-behaved. And yes, perhaps she should have covered up Rocky's bottom half. But he didn't seem to mind so much. ;)
October is looking to be somewhat slower with just one trip to LA planned and no other social commitments but concerts to go to. This Friday I'll be seeing Sigur Ros at the Greek Theater, followed by New Kids on the Block next weekend (don't ask, just nod), and Crystal Castles and Lykke Li at the end of the month. I'm looking forward to the latter two, both should be great shows.
I'm glad to be finally getting back to a slower pace of life. My arms and legs are begging for the gym, my liver needs a break from the champagne, and my mom can finally stop dropping voicemails about my absence.
It was another whirlwind weekend of social events. You are probably as sick of it as I am. ;) I purposely declined any invites for Sunday outings just so I could stay home and do laundry. I had four loads to do and my room looked like a tornado had blown through it. Everything is in order now but I'm kind of dreading September as all of my weekends have just filled up. Woo. On Friday, I had dinner with Tyee, who I haven't seen in months despite the fact that we work not too far from each other. She recently got engaged and I've added her wedding to my list of two for next year. Yes, just two so far. I'm thrilled for her but quite honestly I want to rip apart any new invitations that arrive in the mail. :) Love, it's a wonderful thing.
On Saturday, Betty and Evan were married at a private estate in Palo Alto. It was one of the prettiest and shortest ceremonies of the summer. They tied the knot in a record time of just ten minutes! She looked absolutely amazing and I even started crying when I saw her walk down the aisle. Their Chinese banquet was back up in the city however so I got ready at Ada's place to save on gas and time. After a long dinner with three hundred of their close friends and family, I left as the dancing got started to attend Annie's birthday party at 111 Minna. No, it never really does end for me. It was an 80s themed party with lots of crazy outfits, awesome music and many polaroid photos. Happy birthday Annie darling!
Although I am quite sad to not have attended the wedding of Papi Chulo and Secret Agent Scotch, I am super happy for the internets and all the photos and videos that folks posted. It was like I was there with all of the 6a folks! Congratulations to the happy couple. I wish the two of you many years of joy and laughter.
As for me, I had another set of festivities to attend to and it was quite the busy week. It started off with a Wednesday evening bridal shower for Melissa. While it was very cute to have a tea party wedding shower, I expect all parties after 6pm to serve booze. Really. That's the only way you can have me socialize after a long work day. If I'm not drinking then I want to be on my couch in pjs.
Friday I attended a traditional catholic ceremony at St. Mary's Cathedral for Suzanne and Conan's wedding. Catholic ceremonies tend to be very long but they amazingly got everything done within an hour. The reception was held that evening at Yank Sing restaurant at the Rincon Center. There were dragon dancers, lots of good food and too many shots of tequila. Not too surprisingly, Conan got the biggest wedding ring that I've ever seen on a guy. Such a pimp. :)
Saturday I peeled myself out of bed and drove to Wente Vineyards
in Livermore for Melissa & Derek's wedding. I was hungover and
tired but it was hard to not be enthusiastic by the beautiful
surroundings and the happy couple. They had outdoor tables with trees
lit in Christmas lights and pink and white balloons strewn around the
dance floor. So pretty. The same circle of friends were at this
wedding as well, so well I ended up doing a lot of shots again. Ugh. All in all a fantastic time despite how shitty I felt on Sunday.
