7 posts tagged “parents”
By tomorrow morning, I will have survived almost 72 hours at home. This is a big deal considering my previous visit lasted less than a day. What can I say, my patience for dealing with family has been at an all-time low. Overall though, besides the constant rooster calls (via telephone and clocks) and my parents' inability to speak in anything other than their stadium voices, it was a nice-ish stay. I caught up with childhood friends, shopped with cousins and even bonded with my mother over rice bowls.
Yes. Bowls. Apparently her newfound obsession is with dinnerware, rice bowls in particular. Which is kind of nice considering her past obsessions: there was the year of nylon tracksuits, replaced by Buddhist statues of every shape and size, and then came the chili garden (which is now producing more chili than any of us can eat). Every week she finds new bowls and plates and then ends up selling the old ones or just giving them away. I hope by the time I'm her age, they will have some sort of medication for this.
In other news, I'm off to London and Amsterdam on Sunday. So excited for the shopping and the fact that I'll be ringing in the New Year somewhere else. I'll try to update as often as I can, but in the meantime here are some funny quotes from mom to hold you over:
Mom: You look nice honey. Jacket very nice...
Me: Oh, this? This is old but I love it.
Mom: How much? Tell mommy, it expensive? Must be, look expensive.
Me: Um..I don’t remember..not sure actually.
Mom: Hmm, me think you shop too much. Why you spend so much money when jobs so bad? You waste the money!
****
Mom: You ate dinner already with Chinh? That good. I made soup for you too.
Me: [pause]
Mom: Make sure you eat it. Want to eat it now?
Me: Um..But I’m not hungry.
Mom: What? You diet again?? Why diet all the time? No good look skinny. Boy no like.
****
Mom: You think all the store, they close Christmas? Like no one work?
Me: [pause]
Mom: We go shopping tomorrow, okay?
Me: But all the stores will be closed, Mom.
Mom: So they ALL close tomorrow? Mom no understand why they do that. How they make money?
****
Mom: Eat more, you so skinny. Will die soon.
Me: Um..I don’t think I’m going to die?
Mom: Tsk, tsk, tsk..don’t talk back to mommy. I made soup for you. Want to eat it now?
****
Me: [hands over present]
Mom: I no need new camera. Why camera?
Me: To take pictures with when you go to Vietnam..
Mom: Okay, I take it. Thank you honey. Mommy can sell it for good price at flea market.
****
Mom: You need to drink milk. You want milk, I get for you?
Me: I’m fine without milk for breakfast.
Mom: Why no drink milk? Make you stronger, better bones. You get old, must drink milk.
Me: I take vitamins every day. Calcium vitamins too.
Mom: No, no. Vitamins bad for you. Very bad, just drink milk. Especially from cow.
Me: But um..that doesn’t make any sense..
I can't believe it's already December. The last couple of months have come and gone with only two real blog updates from me. I'm sorry I haven't been posting anything but mobile posts. There hasn't been much time to do anything between work and my social commitments. November included a lot of late nights in the office and even a few weekends. The culmination of all that hard work was the launch of TypePad Connect. It was a *huge* release with lots of moving parts but the team made it happen and I couldn't have been prouder to have been a part of it. Now that the beta release is out, I actually have a bit of breathing room.
Recently I traveled to NYC for my college roommate's bridal shower and bachelorette party. That's Margie with the big present. Yes, we are the same height and size. That's why I originally wanted to live with her - it made borrowing clothes really easy. She's getting married in Costa Rica in January but sadly I won't be able to attend. That really is the last wedding event that I'm attending this year, I swear! I can't afford anything else even if there was something.
It's been a year since I've been back to New York and I've really missed it. The city feels like home to me, even when I'm walking down a street I've never been on, it feels like I've been there before. The sights, scents and sounds of NYC are always comforting. I like that it's a city that never sleeps. I know this means I need to spend some time living there. Maybe one day...
In family updates, I stopped talking to my mom for about two months. Long story short, that I won't get into here, but it involved a nagging voicemail about what I wasn't doing with my life. No, it doesn't stop with my mother even after you've turned thirty. That definitely was the longest I'd ever gone without talking to her. But I came home for Thanksgiving and it seems like everything is fine now. In true mom fashion, she didn't want to talk about it and preferred we act as if nothing was wrong.
The end of Spring brought significant changes with an almost three year relationship out the door. But no regrets. Now that time has passed, we definitely know it was the right decision for the both of us. I do miss the companionship but to be honest, it's been really good to spend more time on just me. This is the happiest that I've been in a long time. And there are only more great things coming especially with my big trip planned to London and Amsterdam for the New Year. Oy, I'm super excited about that!
Oh and I've been shopping a lot. But that's nothing new. :)
The first year I celebrated my birthday without my mother, I turned seventeen and went out with my best friend and her family to dinner. C's family had offered to take me to the Spagetti Factory which I totally loved at the time. I figured I'd do something with my mom that weekend. Not a big deal right? Um, wrong. A very big deal. When I came home she flipped out about how ungrateful I was, and that she brought me into the world not to celebrate my day with another family. That wasn't the worst of it as she continued to remind me of this incident for many birthdays to come.
Fast forward ten years and my mother unbelievably started forgetting my birthday. She was usually just off by a day or two but then one year she totally forgot to call for two weeks. When she finally did, I was beyond being bummed and kind of just in shock.
"HOOooooney, it your mommmy. How is baby?" she said brightly.
"I'm okay, busy with work. And you?"
She laughed nervously, "Okay mommy...mommy know is so, SO bad. But I remember before, just forgot on the day and mommy busy with temple. You know temple. Okay?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! You want some money?"
I stared at the phone in disbelief, "OMG mom, I do not want money!!!"
I called her last night because it's been a good month since I've seen my parents. And I wanted to remind her that today was the day, just in case. She called this morning to sing me happy birthday. Except she only knows the first line of the melody and proceeded to repeat that over and over. Thanks mom. :)
My mom's boyfriend has been away on a trip to Vietnam. She hates sleeping alone and I knew she'd want me to come home often. In fact, she called right before he left and asked if I could work from home 2-3 days a week. An extra weekend this month sure okay, but several days a week? Mind you some visits I can barely get through brunch without wanting to bolt for the door. So um, no. And my weekends this month were entirely booked so instead I asked her to come stay with me for a few days. Yes, kind of crazy.
Well mom came up today with the kitchen sink in tow. Literally. She doesn't understand how I could possibly feel aggravated when she does things like this. It's as though she doesn't believe I can take care of myself, despite the fact that I've been living on my own since college. She brought her own bedding and pillows, towels, toiletries, a bag of cooking supplies such as fish sauce, soy sauce and a colander, three bags of groceries including canned goods and a 25 pd bag of rice, AND extra cleaning supplies.
In the first hour, she picked apart what I had in the refrigerator and proclaimed my floors were too disgusting to live with. She then proceeded to wipe the floors down as I chased her around the kitchen saying, "It's fine mom. Leave it alone. No really, I'll take care of it later.." To put my mother in perspective, here are some counts from just this evening alone. The number of times that she's asked me to drink milk: 3; number of times she's asked to me to eat something: 5; number of times she's complained about me being single: 4; number of times she's complained about my hair/skin/clothes: 3; number of times she's mentioned that drinking ice is bad for my teeth: 2.
She's staying until Wednesday, you do the math on those numbers. Though it's not all bad because my mom does have her funny moments. And these are the things that get me through the days:
Earlier when we parked her car in the garage, she seemed very put off by how dark and deserted it was.
"Well, it's a garage mom. There's not going to be a lot of people down here."
She frowned, "Is safe though, honey?"
"As safe as can be with a gate. Let's grab the bags and I promise you don't have to come down here at night."
I went around the side of the car and saw that she had taken out the package of Arrowhead water. "Mom, we have too much stuff here, leave the bottles of water until tomorrow."
"You sure? So dark here. What if someone take? It good water."
"The water mom? Someone is not going to steal the freakin' water. They'll want your stereo over the water!"
She laughed nervously and put the water back into the car. But I'm not sure she really believed me.
My mom turned 70 years old today. Yes, she's pretty ancient - I mean that in the most loving way of course - but she still has a lot of spunk in her. Recently she was slapped with a speeding ticket for not paying attention to the road, something about driving 50mph in a 25mph zone. When I asked what happened, she just shook her head in disbelief.
Mom: The car it run soooo well honey. Last week, I just go. Press on tha gas and it went bon-bon-bon. You know very easy, I did not know it was fast!!
Me: "Bon-bon??" Well, you should really look out for the signs. Be careful mom!
Mom: Oh honey, I can't see sign anyway.
:/
Hmm.. Not good. These are photos from our Vietnam trip. Isn't she cute? And yes, someone shorter than me. Btw we're wearing dust masks, not dressed up like bandits.
My mom has visited my apartment about half a dozen times in the last..um, ten years. I suppose there really isn't a need since I try to make it home every two weeks for brunch. Sometimes I'll stay the weekend if it's been a long time since I've seen my parents. It makes her happy and I feel like the good daughter, despite the fact that we have a really distant relationship in comparison to others. We don't discuss work, travels, finances, friends or relationships...we mostly just talk about food and and her latest trips to the Buddhist temples. Food to my mother is the cure all for life's ailments. Having a bad day at work? Eat more meat. Feeling down lately? Eat more fruits. Energy levels low? Don't forget to drink your milk.
I'm a bit surprised that already this year she's been to my place twice. She came this morning to bring me pho (Vietnamese beef noodles) because I've been so sick. Pronounced fuh not foe. The chilis in the soup really clear up your sinuses. I greeted her at the door in a tank top and she asked why I wasn't wearing a sweater. "Tsk, tsk. This is how you sick. Why throat not covered? You have to stay warm all time to get better."
Awesome.
She also brought cured meats, bbq pork buns, vegetables and beef bones to make soup, oranges and banh cuon. Obviously she thinks I'm not eating well or doing any grocery shopping. And not drinking enough hot water either because she then pulled out a electric water heater. Is she serious?
"Keep warm. Drink warm water all day, you get better."
Yes. Very serious. I asked her take a breather after she ran around my kitchen like a mad woman. She obliged but sat at perched at the edge of the couch looking slightly uncomfortable at the possibility of relaxing. "This nice honey but I go now. Need to make tofu for the temple before too late today."
"No stay... have lunch with me. You just arrived and it's silly to drive back so soon."
But there was no convincing her and in ten minutes she was off.
"You'll do well this year too because cats catch the rats!" my dad exclaimed. My first thought was that a life of chasing rodents is an existence that I don't want to have. I remember Tom & Jerry and I don't remember Tom ever successfully catching Jerry. But apparently the Year of the Rat is a lucky year for those born as cats. These two animals live in rivalry and in this year, I will be able to "one up on the rat" according to lunar year horoscopes.
Confused as to where the cat comes in? In the Vietnamese zodiac, the cat replaces the rabbit in the Chinese zodiac. The Vietnamese zodiac uses most of the same animals for the remaining 10 years, though the ox and sheep are replaced by water buffalo and goat respectively. For the most part, the customs surrounding Lunar New Year is the same in Vietnam as they are in China.
While our family doesn't make a big production of things, I still make an effort to come home to spend time with my parents. I think that's the most important custom for Tet, to be with family and to pay respects to ancestors. Yesterday mom bought peach flowers for the house and made special foods as an offering to Buddha. She also bought several loaves of "banh chung" for me. We didn't make it to the temple this year but I did say prayers before going to bed last night. A simple prayer for health and happiness for each person in my life.
