4 posts tagged “parents”
My mom's boyfriend has been away on a trip to Vietnam. She hates sleeping alone and I knew she'd want me to come home often. In fact, she called right before he left and asked if I could work from home 2-3 days a week from San Jose. An extra weekend this month sure okay, but several days a week? Mind you some visits I can barely get through brunch without wanting to bolt for the door. So um, no. And my weekends this month were entirely booked so instead I asked her to come stay with me for a few days. Yes, kind of crazy.
Well mom came up today with the kitchen sink in tow. Literally. She doesn't understand how I could possibly feel aggravated when she does things like this. It's as though she doesn't believe I can take care of myself, despite the fact that I've been living on my own since college. She brought her own bedding and pillows, towels, toiletries, a bag of cooking supplies such as fish sauce, soy sauce and a colander, three bags of groceries including canned goods and a 25 pd bag of rice, AND extra cleaning supplies.
In the first hour, she picked apart what I had in the refrigerator and proclaimed my floors were too disgusting to live with. She then proceeded to wipe the floors down as I chased her around the kitchen saying, "It's fine mom. Leave it alone. No really, I'll take care of it later.." To put my mother in perspective, here are some counts from just this evening alone. The number of times that she's asked me to drink milk: 3; number of times she's asked to me to eat something: 5; number of times she's complained about me being single: 4; number of times she's complained about my hair/skin/clothes: 3; number of times she's mentioned that drinking ice is bad for my teeth: 2.
She's staying until Wednesday, you do the math on those numbers. Though it's not all bad because my mom does have her funny moments. And these are the things that get me through the days:
Earlier when we parked her car in the garage, she seemed very put off by how dark and deserted it was.
"Well, it's a garage mom. There's not going to be a lot of people down here."
She frowned, "Is safe though, honey?"
"As safe as can be with a gate. Let's grab the bags and I promise you don't have to come down here at night."
I went around the side of the car and saw that she had taken out the package of Arrowhead water. "Mom, we have too much stuff here, leave the bottles of water until tomorrow."
"You sure? So dark here. What if someone take? It good water."
"The water mom? Someone is not going to steal the freakin' water. They'll want your stereo over the water!"
She laughed nervously and put the water back into the car. But I'm not sure she really believed me.
My mom turned 70 years old today. Yes, she's pretty ancient - I mean that in the most loving way of course - but she still has a lot of spunk in her. Recently she was slapped with a speeding ticket for not paying attention to the road, something about driving 50mph in a 25mph zone. When I asked what happened, she just shook her head in disbelief.
Mom: The car it run soooo well honey. Last week, I just go. Press on tha gas and it went bon-bon-bon. You know very easy, I did not know it was fast!!
Me: "Bon-bon??" Well, you should really look out for the signs. Be careful mom!
Mom: Oh honey, I can't see sign anyway.
:/
Hmm.. Not good. These are photos from our Vietnam trip. Isn't she cute? And yes, someone shorter than me. Btw we're wearing dust masks, not dressed up like bandits.
My mom has visited my apartment about half a dozen times in the last..um, ten years. I suppose there really isn't a need since I try to make it home every two weeks for brunch. Sometimes I'll stay the weekend if it's been a long time since I've seen my parents. It makes her happy and I feel like the good daughter, despite the fact that we have a really distant relationship in comparison to others. We don't discuss work, travels, finances, friends or relationships...we mostly just talk about food and and her latest trips to the Buddhist temples. Food to my mother is the cure all for life's ailments. Having a bad day at work? Eat more meat. Feeling down lately? Eat more fruits. Energy levels low? Don't forget to drink your milk.
I'm a bit surprised that already this year she's been to my place twice. She came this morning to bring me pho (Vietnamese beef noodles) because I've been so sick. Pronounced fuh not foe. The chilis in the soup really clear up your sinuses. I greeted her at the door in a tank top and she asked why I wasn't wearing a sweater. "Tsk, tsk. This is how you sick. Why throat not covered? You have to stay warm all time to get better."
Awesome.
She also brought cured meats, bbq pork buns, vegetables and beef bones to make soup, oranges and banh cuon. Obviously she thinks I'm not eating well or doing any grocery shopping. And not drinking enough hot water either because she then pulled out a electric water heater. Is she serious?
"Keep warm. Drink warm water all day, you get better."
Yes. Very serious. I asked her take a breather after she ran around my kitchen like a mad woman. She obliged but sat at perched at the edge of the couch looking slightly uncomfortable at the possibility of relaxing. "This nice honey but I go now. Need to make tofu for the temple before too late today."
"No stay... have lunch with me. You just arrived and it's silly to drive back so soon."
But there was no convincing her and in ten minutes she was off.
"You'll do well this year too because cats catch the rats!" my dad exclaimed. My first thought was that a life of chasing rodents is an existence that I don't want to have. I remember Tom & Jerry and I don't remember Tom ever successfully catching Jerry. But apparently the Year of the Rat is a lucky year for those born as cats. These two animals live in rivalry and in this year, I will be able to "one up on the rat" according to lunar year horoscopes.
Confused as to where the cat comes in? In the Vietnamese zodiac, the cat replaces the rabbit in the Chinese zodiac. The Vietnamese zodiac uses most of the same animals for the remaining 10 years, though the ox and sheep are replaced by water buffalo and goat respectively. For the most part, the customs surrounding Lunar New Year is the same in Vietnam as they are in China.
While our family doesn't make a big production of things, I still make an effort to come home to spend time with my parents. I think that's the most important custom for Tet, to be with family and to pay respects to ancestors. Yesterday mom bought peach flowers for the house and made special foods as an offering to Buddha. She also bought several loaves of "banh chung" for me. We didn't make it to the temple this year but I did say prayers before going to bed last night. A simple prayer for health and happiness for each person in my life.
